A Litte Scared

Well at the beginning of the month I was on a countdown. I could not wait till I was back in "civilization." However now that I am on the final stretch I am getting this uneasy churning in my stomach.

I have know for a while that teaching is not the career I am going into. I know that staying on another year would not probably be a good move for me. If my career was teaching I would may think differently. This year has been incredible in so many ways. However, I feel that without the zeal for teaching itself it would be very hard to do another year.

This year has taught me so many things. It has made me a stronger individual. I am more confident and also more independent. I have met my breaking points and survived them. Of course all of these things were only possible through leaning on God.

As I begin to look to the future I must admit I am quite scared. I am heading back in to what my mind envisions as a mold. A mold of what my friends, family, and even I realize me have made. I am so uneasy because I know what I have become will not fit the mold. I do not know that I necessary want to change a whole lot, but I know I will need to adjust back. I guess that is what life is all about is adjusting to your changing surroundings.

Here I have been saying how this year has made me grow up so much and deal with things. However, I guess in someways it has helped me avoid and put other things off. I know that when I get back home I will have a lot of decisions to make. This year has given me a break from them, but has not made them disappear. I am really scared of messing up and making the wrong decision.

I just wish I could be the person my kids think I am. They tell me there is no reason for me to go back to school because I know everything. They think I know exactly what to do. Lol if only.

Well I guess each part of life has its challenges. I really liked how one of Jaimie's friends that is visiting her right now put it. She was a student missionary last year. She said that the whole student missionary experience begins in the preparation carries on in getting to your destination, getting used to the place and carrying out the year, and also includes that adjusting back home. I know she is right. I just am a little uncertain.

God has got me through this year and I know He has the perfect plan for me after this year. My mom said she believed this year was preparing me for something else, so I say, "God lead me on! My only prayer is that You stay by my side and give me the strength I need."

Australia!

Well I decided I better write this blog before I forget the little details of our trip to Australia. Our school drama group named REAL (real christian theater) decided to go to Australia this year for our off island tour. We left on May 14 in the afternoon and arrived in Cairns, Australia around midnight.

We stayed at a beautiful hostel. Now I know what your are thinking. How in the world can beautiful and hostel be in the same sentence. However, this hostel really was, they had palm trees and all kinds of other tropical folliage that they had planted around the place. They had a clean medium size pool that even had a little fountain/ waterfall thing that ran into it. The whole set up of the place was very well thought out. Also their personel was very accomidating and helpful. We needed to switch rooms in the middle of our stay and they ended up switching us from one room into two new ones for no extra charge. Also when I had trouble with my scuba plans the girl was right on the ball and got me with another company and had a taxi waiting for me to take me away!

On Friday we had our first school presentation. The school in Cairns is quite small with about 50 kids from grades k-6. However, they also have a very nice and spatious campus. They have a computer for every student! After our performance we headed to the zoo where we had fun feeding kangaroos, watching crocodiles devour meat, and holding Koalas! That night we were graciously feed at the beach by one of the church families and then we went and did one last performance at a nearby town.

Sabbath was actually our busiest day with 3 performance. However, it was great to mingle a bit with the Cairns youth group. We were invited to perform one of our skits on a local radio station, so about 7 of our group when to the station and answered a few questions and did the skit.

Sunday I ended up taking off to do scuba. After my original dive company that I had booked online did not pick me up (they went to the wrong hotel) as I mentioned before the front desk lady ended up getting me with another company. I raced to the dock and got there with only a little bit of time to spare. I ended up doing two dives. The coral was amazing, I touched a turtle and a 4 foot long fish, saw a sting ray, and some huge sea slugs. It was a great experience!

Monday Jaime, Michi (a SDA student) and I ended up heading up to a cultural village where we did a bit of shopping. We met a two older ladies that we helped to find their way up and down from Kuranda ( the cultural village). The funny thing was that when I got to talking to one of them I found out that one of her relatives lived about an hour from where my family do and she had just been up there last summer! That night it was back to the airport where we caught our midnight flight and go back into Saipan at 8:00 the next morning where I ran to class and taught for the day and then went home and crashed :)

It was an incredible trip and I would love to go back again and spend more time exploring! Australia is WONDERFUL!!!!

My Kids...

Well as the last days draw closer. I find myself becoming more and more aware of my attachment to my kids. I thought it would be fun to give you a sneak peak into our classroom...

This is our art class when we decided to make calashes. (don't know how to spell that)

Enjoying the simple things in life :)

Our coloring wall for March...

These are our reporters on the scene of a volcano that just errupted!!!

Enjoying the amazing animals at the Saipan Zoo!

My little family :) I love them!

YAP :)

Way back in December I think it was I was on msn with my two friends Mike and Bill. I had mentioned that I didn't know where I was going for springbreak yet. They told me I should come to Yap. I think they were joking, but I thought it was a great idea so about a month later I surprised them with the news that I had the tickets : ) We started making a count down. The biggest number I remember was 54 days. It was so excited to see the weeks pass away and the time for springbreak draw closer! Finally it was March 21, 2009 at about 9 o'clock and I was making it through customs in Yap. The way the airport is set up, you can see the people waiting while you are in line in customs. I caught my first glimpse of them in line and was doing little jumps of joy and trying hard to resist bursting through the line to them. Ya that probably wouldn't have turned out good :)
Well I got through customs and had to grab my bag before getting to them. I should inform you of something before I continue. I have a horrible time with my luggage, it always gets lost. One time I was in Borneo and had to wait I think about 3 or 4 days for it to come. Anyways, I had tried to pack so I could carry everything on, but the lady had suggested that I check one of my things on. Sure enough as everyone got their luggage I was left there by myself. Finally I asked if I could go see my friends while attendants tried to figure out my luggage. I run over to my friends and got the hugs I had been waiting for months for :) In the end my luggage was lost and I had to leave and just give them my luggage. It ended up showing up on the second day I was there, so it wasn't too bad.
When I arrived we ended up touring the campus and spent a little bit of time just gazing at the stars and talking. I knew I had missed those two boys, but being with them made me realize that I had missed them even more than I had known! I finally called it a night, becuase they had supervision for a pathfinder campout. I went up to the girls apartment where I was staying. They welcomed me with open arms. They made my trip so enjoyable. They offered everything they had including their clothes until mine showed up.
During the week we did so many fun things! We visited islands, went scuba diving 3 times, ate great food, went exploring, hung out with some of the students, watched a basketball game, caught up on things, watched movies, went sailing, and relaxed ever so often :). This was one of the most incredible weeks ever! It was so cool because not only did I get quality time with my two friends, but I also got to know the other SMs on Yap. They really have an incredible group and they made me feel completely at home!
On the last night in Yap I couldn't believe the time I had looked forward to so much was almost at a close! They threw me a suprise birthday lol a week late so I had no idea :) They were so cute though and the cake even had cinnamon red hots one of my favorites! Ya I have the best friends in the world! They took me to the airport at 2:30. When they finally let me board the plane I said my goodbyes and got my last hugs. It was really sad because not only was I saying goodbye to some of my best friends, but I was also saying goodbye to my new SM friends that I probably would never see again :) I guess that is what heaven is for when there are no more goodbyes! I will cherish the memories from that week for the rest of my life!

I've Made My Decision.. For Now : )

So ever since Christmas Break I have been battling about careers. I was set on dental hygiene, but during the break I began to think more and more about education. I liked the idea of having a job that really made a difference. My mom really liked the idea of me going into education and another positive about it was that I could stay at Walla Walla.
I have never like the idea that for dental hygiene you only have two years of pre-requisites. After that I had planned to go onto Loma Linda to finish up my education because it is the only Adventist University for dental hygiene.
Over the past months I have spent many hours talking and thinking about what I should do. I finally prayed to God and told Him, "there are so many things in my life right now that I don't know what are going to happen with. Please, just give me an answer on one of them." Well I think I got my answer!
This is going to sound really rediculious, but my mom sent me some scrubs in the mail cause that is the type of bottoms I wear for teaching cause they are cheap and inexpensive. Anyways, when I got them I looked in the mirror and they just seemed right. I thought, "I really want to have a career that I can wear these, they just feel right." Like I said, I know it sounds rediculious. Anyways, I began to do some looking into dental hygiene. I emailed on of my highschool teacher's wifes. She had ended up switching from education to dental hygiene. I asked for her reasons for this. She emailed me back with some very strong points. They really made me begin to think hard about what I really wanted. To make a long story short in the end I realized that dental hygiene was the career for me.
One of the main reasons that I decided this is because of how important time is to me. I have always been a person that values spending time and I realized as a teacher I would always be straining to give my class and family the time they deserved. I think it would drive me crazy. Also, I am the type of person that likes to figure out how to do a job efficiently and fast so I can move onto something else. Now not that I am an expert on teaching, but talking to my teacher's wife she said that no matter how good you are at your job, teaching always has alot of work to be done. The thing I really like about dental hygiene is that as soon as I step out of the office, I am truely done work until the moment I step back in. This gives me a chance to relax and focus on other things that I want to devote my time to like family, friends, hobbies, and my church family. Another part of teaching that you do have to deal with ever so often is conflict with parents. I am very much a peace maker. I will bend over backwards to try and avoid people being mad at me which at sometimes is good and other times not, but that is for another blog :). In dental hygiene, I realize there will be conflicts that arrise, but I don' t think they will be quite.
This next point is not a crucial one, but it does have its perks. Dental hygiene definitely has a better income than teaching. I realize that money is not everything, and I have definitely seen that in my own life over the past few years. However, it is nice to know that I could provide for myself. It is also nice to have a little extra money to support mission trips ect.
One of the big reasons that really scaried me from dental hygiene is that I really didn't want to go to Loma Linda. I love the northwest and after a year away, I realize how much I truely belong there. Also, it seems I am always changing schools. I have went to 5 school in the last 11 years or so. Now I realize that many other people have changed school way more than that, but for me, I don't enjoy having to pick up and start all over that many times. Lastly, my dad has always told me that the really important thing about going to college is to find who you are going to marry, and thus he always really pushed our Adventist education. Therefore in my mind it kinda panicked me to think of having only 4 years in college to find that "mister special" and especially that those 4 years were split into two parts. A while I heard that Cheney, Washington also had a dental hygiene program. This program sounded perfect, it was in Washington where I love, it was cheaper, and I would be close to Walla Walla still. The only draw back was that it was a public university.
Well, a few weeks ago, when I decided on dental hygiene I also decided that my first choice for universities would also be the one in Cheney. I decided that whoever God wants me to end up He will make it happen. This realization has really taken a huge burden off my shoulders! So as of now the plan is I am doing dental hygiene in Cheney, Washington.... however, my plans have a way of changing so we will see how long this plan lasts ; )

The Last Week Before...

Well I am laying here on a couch in our new house trying to think exactly what I want to write lol. Well, we are going into our last week before spring break! I am so excited because I am very ready for a little break from teaching. It will be nice to beable to relax and gain some more inspiration for that last quarter of school.

The biggest positive of this break though is that I am going to Yap to go visit two of my really good friends! It is so weird for me to think I haven't seen them since August!!! The only negative of spring break is that my roommate and I are going to be seperated and we are kinda joined at the hip so it is going to be kinda difficult :) I love you Jaimie!

This last week is going to be filled with grading assingments and tests, unpacking (since we just moved) and packing (for Yap), and doing report cards (always my favorite!) It makes for an action packed week!

The craziest thing about this week is that I am turning 20! I can't believe that I am pretty much done my teens! A few days ago I began to write down all the years I have been around in different fonts in my journal. It was really weird cause some years I really can't place exactly what happened. I know sometime in that year there was some event that has molded me into the person I am, but I have not recollection of it! It is crazy how time has a away of blending itself together. Lol, listen to me, I'm only 19, I know this will only happen more the older I get. Well I still have 3 days to be a teen so I guess I will enjoy them while they last!

Thoughts...

In the relationships we have everyday we are confronted with compartmentalizing the different conficts we have into the big and the small. My question is at what point is that line that the small things turn into big things.
The saying goes, "don't sweat the small things." However, when does that small thing change into a big thing that needs to be addressed. How often do we take something that is a big deal and classify it as a small thing in order to not deal with it.
The hard thing is that when you are on the line between the big and the small their are arguments for both. As I said above, if you place something on the "big deal side" then you run the chance of blowing things out of proportion, or making something out of nothing! Yet if you decide it fits on the small side you have taken the chance of being blind,ignoring the obvious, not wanting to accept reality, and trying to avoid confrontation!
The joys of life! Decisions, decisions, decisions :)

We are truely a unique family

On March 1 was Nichole French's birthday! We were all up when her birthday officially started at 12:00am cause we were playing a very intense game of capture the flag at Managaha. After the game ended around 2:30 we all called it a night for a whole 3 and a half hours of sleep. We woke up early to pack up camp and boat off the island. The first thing all of us did, once everything was put away, was to run to the showers :)
That night we all went to a little restaurant that has an incredible view out over the ocean for Nichole's birthday. It was such an incredible time! We all got on the topic of the different events that lead up to us coming to Saipan. There are so many incredible stories that it made me want to write a book of the way that God worked to get us all here. We talked about how blessed we felt to be here and how amazing our kids were. I really felt at that moment like I was truly in a family. If you looked at our group person by person you would never put us together. We are so incredible different, but God has put us together, and I feel like we have some how fit unexplainable together. I feel blessed

Taking A Moment To Sigh

Well I am in reading class right now and just having fun watching my kids do what they are supposed to do :) So many times during this month I have been running to and fro, doing this and that, and have not sat back and just taking a moment to relax.
This week is really jam-packed with all kinds of planning for our Managaha Trip. It is a lot of prep-work! The nice thing is that it is also our Week of Prayer. My roommate's dad is our speaker, Jerry Nickell. It is so nice that even in this crazy week we have a chance as a school to begin our day by slowing down and turning to the One that keeps us going :)
My kids still have as much energy as ever! However, as our ESL temporary students have begun to leave, my classroom has began to shrink. Right now, my class seems at almost a perfect size. I can't believe I only have 3 months left with them! We are sure to have many more fun memories in these last few months!

Unwelcome Visitors

So this week in english my class has been learning more about how to put sentences together. On Monday I had all my kids write sentences, and then on Tuesday I wrote some of the sentences up on the board and we would as a class correct them. Well one of the sentences we happened to correct was "The blue cochroach jumped everywhere." Just as I we finished correcting it I felt something on my foot. I looked down to see a HUGE cochroach on my foot. Of couse it went running all through the classroom causing all my kids to jump on their desks and a few boys to go chasing after it. After I finally got the class under control they said, "Miss Rhonda, don't ever write a sentence about cochroaches on the board again!"
On Wed. I got three boxes from my parents. I ended up opening them up at the school. No I couldn't wait till I was home. Like I have said, patience is a virtue I am still working on :). Anyways, after I opened them and saw what was inside I put them in the car because I walk home and didn't really want to carry them for a mile. Well around 7:30pm that night I remembered my boxes. I went out to the car and grabbed my boxes. I brought them into the house and started to go through them when a really big cochroach came scurrying out. I jumped back startled and grabbed my shoe and killed it. I decided to take a break from unpacking the boxes and began to walk towards the bathroom when I looked down and saw a cochroach craw from my shoulder down my shirt! We I definitely screamed a little and did a bit of a dance. Once I had finally managed to make it fall to the floor it died a very quick death. Then tramatized I lay on the ground and tried to figure out if I wanted to cry, scream, or laugh. This whole time my roommate was trying to stiffle laughs! Well after a minute or so I decided to finish unpacking my boxes and in the process I found two more cochroaches in my boxes that also both died very quick deaths. The last one ended up splattering all over our floor. I didnt know cochroaches splattered! I'm sorry that was probably too much information :)
Well one thing I can say is for sure is that I am a northwest girl through and through and I am not a cochroach fan!

My Strength is in You

Well it been a while! This last bit I must admit has been pretty hard. These "winter" months seem to drag on a little and just wear you out. During the last two weeks I have watched as my energy drain down, down ,down. I got to the point that I finally realized, even though I have been teaching for the last 6 and a half months I am still not even close to being able to teach. The only thing that makes it possible for me to teach is God working through me. I am having to make a conscious effort each day to give everything to God and ask him to give me the energy for one more day! I am realizing that this last half of the year is not going to be without its struggles and the only way to survive and truly grow is God. To all you that are reading this, I just want to thank you for all your prayers. They make a world of difference.

Exhausted!

Well it is funny. The first couple days that I was back in Saipan I was saying how it was go good to be back and how much energy I had, but that I was sure that would fade a bit very quickly... Well now I am there. I am really really tired! I feel that at the point I am at I should be a lot more ahead and put together. I must admit it is a bit discouraging. The one good thing that about this state is that I am continually falling at God's feet asking Him for insight and strenght!
Right now my class has jumped up to an attendance of 15! However, by the end of Januaury it is going to drop to 13, and by the end of Febuary to 10! I know, quite a difference.
Life to me is like climbing a mountain. Sometimes there are easy paths. but there are also incredibly hard cliffs to scale. I feel like right now I am in the process of climbing one of those cliffs, and I perched on a ledge, exhausted from the climb and trying to find another good hand hold to pull myself up.
I know everyone has times like this, and that in time things will get better and energy will come back. Patience is a virtue I am still acquiring :). The one thing I know is that no matter how tricky and foreboding this cliff looks I am always safe in the knowledge that My Heavenly Father will never let me fall.

Back for the last half!

Well its back to the grind :) I was able to go home for Christmas Break which was a gift from God! I really think I would have had a hard time regrouping my energy and battling homesickness if I had stayed here in Saipan for Christmas. It is amazing how God gives you just what you need!
I must admit. When I was returning back to Saipan it was all I could do to keep getting on planes that were taking me further and further away from my family. I sat in the airport in Hawaii trying to keep the tears that were welling up in my eyes to not come streaming down my cheeks. At that point I began to call on God for His strength. I knew that was to only way that I was going to survive.
Soon after I began to feel better and when I was picked up at the airport I felt like I had just returned to a second home! God surely can work miracles with our thought patterns.
So far the jet lag has not been too bad. I have not been sleeping through the night yet, but at least when I wake up I can fall back to sleep. The work thing that has happened is I have had a headache which lasted all morning from my body trying to adjust back.
I know this last half of the year is going to go incredibly fast. It is my goal to treasure every moment I have with my kids. This opportunity is a gift from God and I intend to make the most of it!